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Open Thread - Funny Animals Of The Week

Fri, 2018-04-20 23:30

Open thread below...

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C&L's Late Nite Music Club With Quicksilver Messenger Service

Fri, 2018-04-20 23:00

Woo Hoo! It's not just any Friday. It's 420 Friday.

In May of 1970, San Francisco band Quicksilver Messenger Service set up camp at Opaelua Lodge in Hawaii to record their 4th album Just For Love. The laid-back surroundings inspired them quite a bit.

Y'know, the "grass skirts" and all that.

What are you listening to tonight?

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Alex Jones Admits He's A F*cking Liar

Fri, 2018-04-20 16:32

Responding to a lawsuit filed by three Sandy Hook families for defamation against Alex Jones, who for years has called the Sandy Hook massacre fake, Jones has now backtracked and admitted the massacre actually happened.

Here are some of the vile descriptions and allegations Alex Jones has used to denigrate the families and the children of Sandy Hook, the massacre where 20 elementary schoolchildren and their teachers were slaughtered.

"Sandy Hook it's got inside job written all over it."

"Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake with actors in my view manufactured."

"It took me about a year with Sandy Hook to come to grips with the fact the whole thing was fake."

“I’ve looked at it and undoubtedly there’s a cover-up, there’s actors, they’re manipulating, they’ve been caught lying, and they were pre-planning before it and rolled out with it.”

“The whole thing is a giant hoax.”

Now that he's facing a million dollar lawsuit, WSHU public radio reports that "Jones said he now believes the shooting really happened, and that the families are being used by the Democratic Party and the news media. Jones invited the parents onto his program for a discussion about guns."

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'Tell A Fuller Story': Ali Velshi Refuses To Let WH Spox Get Away With Jobs Lie

Fri, 2018-04-20 16:29

Kristen Welker is a reliable stenographer for the White House. Occasionally she functions as their videographer, too, as she did in this segment.

This is the end of a much longer segment where Mercedes "Mercy" Schlapp -- apparently a pal of Welker's -- was permitted to just go on and on about things, unchallenged.

At the end of the interview, Welker finally decided she had a question for Schlapp about whether Trump would actually sit for an interview with Robert Mueller. Predictably, Schlapp referred Welker to Trump's "personal lawyers."

And then Schlapp went off to the races, spewing propaganda and lies faster than anyone can say "boo".

"What we are focused on here at the White House is what the president has accomplished," Schlapp scolded. "You look at the fact that we are looking at 4 million jobs that have been added. the fact we are seeing unemployment at its lowest for hispanic, for African-American, for women. we are seeing a success story."

HOLD ON. Four million jobs, say what? There's no way Trump has created that many jobs.

If we assume the first year of the Trump presidency is a continuation of Obama policies (which it was), then it appears that "Mercy" was taking some credit for Obama's growth.

Schlapp kept going on about God, Mom, apple pie, consumer and business confidence and Saint Donnie, but it was all lost on me, and apparently also Kristen Welker who thanked Mercy for her time and ended her show.

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Why Did Republicans Demand Release Of The Comey Memos, Again?

Fri, 2018-04-20 13:33

After the release of the Comey memos yesterday which backed up every claim the ousted FBI Director has made so far, many journalists and politicians are wondering why House Republicans demanded they be released at all and went as far as trying to intimidate Rod Rosenstein by saying they would impeach him if he didn't release them.

Steve Benen, a former C&Ler and now a mainstay of Rachel Maddow's links their behavior to Rep. Devin Nunes outrageous antics.

First, if you’re feeling déjà vu right about now, you’re not alone – because this feels very much like the debacle surrounding the so-called “Nunes memo” all over again. In that case, House Republicans fought with the Justice Department, ignored every warning, and released sensitive information to the public in the hopes of undermining the investigation into the Russia scandal. Trump, in a perpetual state of confusion, immediately claimed vindication.

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Watch Samantha Bee Explain Why Sean Hannity Might Be A Serial Killer!

Fri, 2018-04-20 12:58

Samantha Bee's takedown of Sean Hannity is even funnier and more brutal than Jimmy Kimmel's. Must see TV!

While we're all laughing, Sean Hannity is probably fuming somewhere. And he's already undoubtedly upset that Rachel Maddow probably just killed him (again) in the ratings with her Comey interview that he's been longing for.

Will Samantha Bee get the kind of bonkers retaliation that Kimmel got? We'll have to wait and see.

Meanwhile, be sure to watch how she builds her case for Hannity as serial killer! It's from the April 18, 2018 Full Frontal with Samantha Bee.

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Hannity And Dershowitz' ‘Whitey Bulger’ Smear Of Robert Mueller Just Fell Apart Bigly

Fri, 2018-04-20 12:53

The now-retired federal judge who presided over the case just destroyed the allegations by Sean Hannity and apparent Supreme Court Justice auditionee Alan Dershowitz that special counsel Robert Mueller allowed four men to remain wrongfully imprisoned in the 1980s.

As Media Matters noted, Hannity smeared Mueller, the head of the Russia probe, by trying to tie him to a hideous chapter in FBI history on four consecutive broadcasts last week. One of those instances was during a chat with Dershowitz.

In another instance, as a large graphic titled "THE MULLER CRIME FAMILY?" dominated the screen, Hannity said:

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Jay Goldberg Gives Super Creepy Analysis Of Michael Cohen: 'Not Suited To Rigors Of Prison Life'

Fri, 2018-04-20 12:49

I hope you've all done your stretches, because you're gonna need it for the mental gymnastics required to follow this guy's logic. Erin Burnett's face is positively meme-worthy in more than one place, but I'll leave that to the techno-smarties.

Trump's former attorney, Jay Goldberg appeared on CNN yesterday with some analysis and predictions about Michael Cohen. Trump called him on April 13, after Cohen's office was raided, for advice. Like every good attorney-client relationship, the attorney went on national TV to talk about their private conversation. Noooorrrrmmmaaalllll.

Goldberg went to lengths to make a distinction between a witness "flip", and what he predicted Cohen would do. He explained FLIPPING is when a witness tells the TRUTH about another target of an investigation in order to get leniency for his own crimes. The TRUTH about another target.

GOLDBERG: He asked me about a number of lawyers and what I thought the lawyer best suited for him would be. And I didn't accept the notion of flip. Flip means to me that when faced with the potential of spending time in jail, he will tell the truth. I don't think that's what the President was concerned about and that's not what I'm concerned about.

I'm concerned about a person whose facing a lengthy prison term is likely to say those things which in the witness' mind would best position himself for a 5K1 letter which would enable the government to recommend that he'd be shown leniency. That doesn't necessarily mean that he tells the truth.

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Chuck Todd Blasts Hannity And 'Lackey' Jeffrey Lord For Trying To Smear Him And His Wife

Fri, 2018-04-20 12:47

NBC's Chuck Todd blasted Sean Hannity and Jeffrey Lord during an interview on The Bernie and Sid Show on New York's 77WABC.

After the Meet The Press host criticized Fox News for not disciplining Hannity for concealing that he's a client of Michael Cohen, it wasn't a lucky guess that Hannity would sic some of his minions on him.

And that minion was the former CNN race-baiting Trump surrogate Jeffrey Lord, who won a 2017 Crooky Award from C&L for being the pundit who should never return to cable news. And he did so by attacking Chuck Todd's wife and calling Chuck a hypocrite on and in The American Spectator.

In the interview, Todd told McGuirk and Rosenberg that he has disclosed everything his wife has done and that she has a mind of her own. He then repeated that the problem for Hannity was that he failed to disclose his ties with Michael Cohen.

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Whether Michael Cohen Flips Does Not Matter One Bit

Fri, 2018-04-20 12:40

Let us consider for the moment all the hand-wringing that the very serious Villagers are doing as they whisper to each other at the cocktail parties while sipping their Mai Tais and whatnot, and the weird off-track betting that you know Bill ‘Sporting Life’ Bennet (and his ilk) is placing about whether or not Michael Cohen, Comrade Stupid’s stupidest attorney, is going to flip against Prznint Stupid.

It doesn’t matter.

Whatever evidence that exists in all the material impounded by the Cohen office-hotel-apartment search warrant, well, exists. To put it bluntly, if it documents a crime or crimes, Mueller & Co. don’t need to flip Cohen, it’s already in evidence. Why offer him a deal when they have him (and presumably his three clients) dead to rights?

What I do think is funny is the way that everyone is just assuming that of course there was a crime, and it involved Comrade Stupid. Even his former attorney, Jay Goldberg, has said (apparently with the blessing of Comrade Stupid) that there’s a less than 1% chance that Cohen won’t flip, which as far as I can tell means even HE THINKS TRUMP IS A CROOK, and TRUMP AGREES!!1!

Jeebus, these people.

Crossposted as Teh Stupid, It BUUUUUUUUURNS! as part of the series "Little Kremlin on the Potomac"

And Ron Klain from last night's Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell:

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Mike's Blog Round Up

Fri, 2018-04-20 08:01

The Mahablog: How weird -- that secretary with her $1.50-a-week tax cut isn't voting Republican!

The Daily Irritant: Eleven knuckle-draggers in Congress want several prominent Democrats to be prosecuted for various random bullshit. Will Jeff Sessions agree?

The Psy of Life: Trump's Scooter Libby pardon decision was just a random brain spasm, not unlike the thrashing of a beheaded chicken.

Booman Tribune: Democrats have an easy target this year -- Republicans are running based on a tax "reform" most voters already don't like.

Bonus link: The Republican crusade against abortion is fanatical indeed, but the actual results are a mixed bag.

Blog round-up by Infidel753. To recommend a post, send link to mbru [at] crooksandliars [dot] com -- I do check it!

COMEY MEMO: Trump Said Putin Told Him U.S. 'Had Most Beautiful Hookers In The World'

Fri, 2018-04-20 08:00

After Republican yahoos in the House (looking at YOU, Devin Nunes and Jim Jordan) pressured Rod Rosenstein to turn over James Comey's memos, the DOJ finally obliged. Within a couple of hours, the memos were in the hands of reporters and out in the wild.

For the most part, there isn't much in them we don't already know, with a couple of exceptions. In the March 30, 2017 memo, Comey says Reince Preibus asked him outright if there was a FISA warrant on Michael Flynn, a question he answered but which was redacted.

There is chatter about emails, and whether the Clinton campaign handled it well. Preibus said they should have celebrated Comey's final announcement, but that it wasn't the Russians' fault that she didn't campaign in Michigan and it wasn't Comey's fault she set up her email the way she did. Comey, of course, jumped on that with a nod, saying it wasn't his fault that Huma Abedin forwarded emails to Anthony Weiner's computer too. Always looking for absolution on that one, isn't he?

But there was also this. Trump, while speaking to Comey, is very distressed about the hookers and the golden showers report.

"The President said 'the hookers thing' is nonsense," Comey wrote. "But Putin had told him "we have some of the most beautiful hookers in the world." Comey went on to note that Trump didn't say when Putin told him that and Comey didn't recall something which is redacted.

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Comey Ordered Investigation Into Giuliani And The Leaky FBI

Thu, 2018-04-19 23:30

When Rudy Giuliani went on Fox News and giggled that he had some "surprises" yet to come in the 2016 campaign, he got everyone's attention, especially when James Comey sent a letter to Congress two days later informing them that Hillary Clinton's email had been discovered on Anthony Weiner's laptop.

That attention included James Comey. During his interview Thursday with Rachel Maddow, he discussed Giuliani's huge ego and his participation in the buildup to the announcement that ripped the wind right out of the sails of the HIllary campaign.

Rachel was direct. "Did Rudy Giuliani and therefore the Trump campaign have advanced notice from inside the FBI, from the New York field office or wherever, that this announcement from you was coming?," she asked.

"Not that I know of but I saw that same publicity," Comey replied. "And so I commissioned an investigation to see if we could understand whether people were disclosing information out of the New York office or any other place that resulted in Rudy's report on Fox News and other leaks that we were seeing in the media."

Well, now we're all wondering what became of the investigation, aren't we? I still think it came through a retired FBI agent, and that's what Giuliani confirmed too. Specifically, I think James Kallstrom, retired FBI agent, friend to Jeanine Pirro and all of Fox News leaked it.

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Open Thread - Samantha Bee FTW

Thu, 2018-04-19 23:30

Speaking to the Power of Women conference, Sam Bee promises to shut down her speech if the Pee Tape is released while she's speaking.

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C&L's Late Nite Music Club With Low

Thu, 2018-04-19 23:01

The month of May is less than two weeks away. I look outside and what do I see today? More freakin' snow.

Maybe if we play this song from Low's 2002 album Trust all at the same time, the weather will get the hint that we're done with winter and are waiting for spring (in both a literal and figurative sense.)

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Holy Crap: I'm A Christian And I'm Here To Take Your Money Edition

Thu, 2018-04-19 23:00

Jay Sekulow, one of Trump’s lawyers, found a great way to make a living.

Documents obtained by the Guardian show Sekulow approved plans to push poor and jobless people to donate money to his Christian nonprofit, which since 2000 has steered more than $60m to Sekulow, his family and their businesses.

Telemarketers for the nonprofit, Christian Advocates Serving Evangelism (Case), were instructed in contracts signed by Sekulow to urge people who pleaded poverty or said they were out of work to dig deep for a “sacrificial gift”.

Hey, the dude has payments on his airplane and God only knows what else. In his defense, he was trying to raise enough money to burn a wet elephant.

Here’s the script for his “Christian charity” phone calls.

Some people are going to a real special place in hell.

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What The Hell Is Rudy Giuliani Doing On Trump's Legal Team?

Thu, 2018-04-19 19:37

In a statement late today, Trump attorney Jay Sekulow announced that Rudy Giuliani is joining Trump's legal team, along with two former federal prosecutors, Jane Serene Raskin and Martin Raskin.

Just thought I'd remind you of a story written by the late great investigative reporter Wayne Barrett in September 2016:

Rudy and Donald first got together in the late 1980s shortly before Donald became a co-chair of Giuliani's first fundraiser for his 1989 mayoral campaign, sitting on the Waldorf dais and steering $41,000 to the campaign. A year earlier, Tony Lombardi, the federal agent closest to then-U.S. Attorney Giuliani, opened a probe of Trump's role in the suspect sale of two Trump Tower apartments to Robert Hopkins, the mob-connected head of the city's largest gambling ring.

Trump attended the closing himself and Hopkins arrived with a briefcase loaded with up to $200,000 in cash, a deposit the soon-to-felon counted at the table. Despite Hopkins' wholesale lack of verifiable income or assets, he got a loan from a Jersey bank that did business with Trump's casino. A Trump limo delivered the cash to the bank.

The government subsequently nailed Hopkins' mortgage broker, Frank LaMagra, on an unrelated charge and he offered to give up Donald, claiming Trump "participated" in the money-laundering — and volunteering to wear a wire on him.

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Sandy Hook Parent Calls Out Alex Jones: 'It's Time For This To End'

Thu, 2018-04-19 17:37

Sandy Hook parent Neil Heslin has a message for Alex Jones: It's time for Jones to stop using them as his foil for fun and profit.

"It's hurtful. It continues to open the wound more and more. But, you know, to have somebody come up to me and say how sorry they are about my loss and then a second later, look me in the eye and say, do I think Sandy Hook really happened," Heslin told Megyn Kelly.

He added, " He's out peddling these lies like a carnival barker. And it puts people like myself, the Pozners, and other families at risk."

Florida resident Lucy Richards was convicted of transmitting threats through interstate communications after she sent a message to the parents of Noah Pozner saying, " “LOOK BEHIND YOU IT IS DEATH." Richards is another Sandy Hook hoaxer, influenced by the evil Alex Jones sent out into the world.

Lawyer Mark Bankston explained, "When it comes to private individuals, you can't just lie about them. You cannot just spread lies that hurt their lives."

"Here, this is textbook defamation. He made unequivocal, false statements about both of our clients," he continued."And the consequences of that are so severe that I don't believe I've ever seen anything like this. And it's our opinion that this is the most vile act of defamation in the history of American media."

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Senator Corker Really, REALLY Wishes Democrats Would Fall In Line And Confirm Pompeo

Thu, 2018-04-19 15:59

Bob Corker appeared on Andrea Mitchell's show today to basically beg Democrats to confirm Mike Pompeo as Trump's Secretary of State. At the moment, Pompeo doesn't have enough votes to make it out of committee, and Corker has a sadz.

CORKER: Look, Secretary Clinton and Kerry were confirmed with 94 votes. You don't think they said things when running for president that Republicans disagreed with? I mean, come on. I mean, you and I both understand that Mike Pompeo is very -- who could know more about what's happening around the world than the director of the CIA? No one. He knows more about what is happening around the world than anybody here in Washington. This is -- we understand, I don't even want to give him a hard time, I just want to get him confirmed, but my friends, my Democratic friends, who know that the base, I hate that word, but the base if you will, view this as a proxy vote in support of Trump, obviously are finding ways to not vote for him. This is very much against any kind of tradition that we have had here. You know that. And there's nothing in Pompeo's past that, in any way, could possibly disqualify him from getting an up or down vote on the floor. And it should be overwhelming, but we just live in a hyperpartisan time....You don't want someone like Pompeo to go in with somebody like Secretary Mattis and ensure that the right kind of advice is given to our president who takes all kinds of input from all kinds of people at night and early in the morning?

Let's parse, shall we?

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Midday Open Thread - Baby Girl In The Senate!

Thu, 2018-04-19 15:45

Senator Tammy Duckworth (D-IL) brings her newborn daughter, Maile, to work.

"It feels great. It’s about time": US Sen. Tammy Duckworth just made history by bringing her newborn baby onto the Senate floor during a vote

— CNN International (@cnni) April 19, 2018

May it start a trend nationwide of accommodations in the workplace.

Open thread below...

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